Regrets...Regret...

I had drafted a blog for my 1000 regrets for my 25 years of my life, like what that I did for my more memoriable things from Tas, that this regret log will contiune untill I reach 1000 items or that the end of the year comes. But I suddenly started thinking again, if really pen-ing these regrets down can I really leave it in the blogger and move on with my life? If this is the only way I can continue living without regrets to entrap me.

I am not sure now, I start to think how far back should I rethink my regards, how far back should I date my regrets? To what end or start does my regard actually begin? When I was born? Is regreting that I was born really possible? Or is it really my 'regret' to regret? Or is it the 'regret' for my parents to regret?

I realised from living I became stuck, than at 17 I began to live, and then stuck again at 20, then recently ending 2004 I started to live again, but now I am stuck again...From living to stuck and stuck to living, I not sure anymore what I am actually living for.I realised that when I walk the streets, on my journey to work, journey home, journey to see friends, being with friends, hanging out...etc, etc, etc...I see regrets walking pass me. I regret why I didn't stop eating at the age of 12 that made me so fat now, I regret why didn't I take the countless oppotunity to exercise, I regret why can't I be more outgoing, I regret why can't I be more sociable, I regret why don't I have made the friends I wanted and not made some friends that I don't wan to have. I feel that the world has become a walk-in regret gallery for my life. Every corner, every street, every person, every age...a regret carries on their face. Does anyone have this trouble in their life? In TP I was the 'Walking-info booth', but now I feel I am the 'Walking-regret-booth'.

I cannot restart my life like a computer, I cannot redo my life like an experiment gone wrong, I cannot rewrite my life like writing an eassy, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot....then what can I? What can I do?

I am more lost then I was a month ago, and more lost, or more differently lost, then I was in Tas. A 'lost' I cannot find, a 'lost' I cannot seek, a 'lost' I cannot live in...

(Music: 童话 - 光良)