Living in a world where it doesn't allow me to live

Well it been okies night's sleep and an okies day beginning, but then I still wake every morning searching for something more to live for, to look for, to hope for?....Yet everyday I am unable to find this thing......I am fast losing hope and also losing faith from everything around. This morning in the MRT was two phyically challenged guys in wheel chairs. I look into their eyes at some point of time and realised that even though the physical restrictions in their entire life, they seem to have more things to live for, more dreams to fufill in their lifes. Yet for me, someone sort of perfectly normal have no dreams to live for. Shouldn't my life be giving to those who really wants its? Or have something to live for? I don't know, sometimes it seems unfair to those people that I am taking an extra piece of oxygen from the air when it should be given to someone who actually cares and deserves it.

So this day begins with a okies night sleep, though still with toss and turns, and a late night of un-able to sleep-ness, and a defeating realisation from two complete stranges on the MRT. So the question is what is keeping me from just jumping off the building or drink the EB from the lab?...I don't know...really don't know.....

(Music : Winter Sonata(OST) - Main Theme)