Lost everything in one night

Well have anyone ever had the episode that you had everything or at least somethings in your life but then in one night you just realised you don't....well I just had mine epiphany last night.

I realised that I had friends, family, church, special friends, best friends, close friends and etc etc but then in one night, I realised I never had them. All was circumstantial events that fell into place with them all around. In one night I realised that no one understands me for myself is just figuring out myself.

In just one night, it was all here and then it was all gone. Like as I said before I have a phone book or more then 300 numbers, barring mutiple numbers from individuals, I would have at least 200, but then some nights I scroll over and over again but never finds a number I can call, I can send an sms, I can chat with for even 5 seconds. In one night I realised, understand or you can even say accept that I never had, and would never have....we all live in a world when friends pass on from one to another; family members move on to their own lifes; best friends get marriages, have children, have family, have husband or wives, church people carry on with their lifes, in masses, in festival, in celebration, in days of obligations and feast days, in events and etc etc etc; close friends becomes not so close. I suppose thats why at then end of the day we all just want to be with someone, and being just 1....as anymore concentration will not be there and we will start to move again. This word 'SOMEONE' is the most amazing yet scary yet undeniable craving of individual warm bodies, as the chinese sentence in english goes, we all crave, look, search for another warm body to warm each other up. individuals in this amazingly big cold world looking for that other warm body.

Many have found warm bodies, many have found their warm bodies, few have from the 1 warm body. All different and all amazingly necessary.

Where is my warm body? I am so tired of searching I feel like juat be cold, as cold is more avaliable and more gradual then being poured cold water by another warm body(if you get my drift).