Sunday Morning....I got up

Its Sunday now, 951am. The first in awhile that I woke up this early, even earlier then my parents. All was planning to go 1030am mass...but don't think we cans since its that late. So as I sit here in my bed after a good long morning shower, I listen to my night music that has been playing, 暧昧 by 杨丞琳. Think its quite a old song already since its the theme for a Taiwan series that I suspect dates to 2004. Of course after such a series my mind drifts onces again to the unrealistic imagination of what love and relationships is or could be. As I sit here, trapped by thots of the past, and confusion scenes of the future, I begin to understand that the tiredness I feel is from the loneliness.....may it be my life, of friends, of companionship. Just tried of being alone....seeing so man younger so non-lonely, seeing my age tying the knot, seeing older having kids, seeing friends sharing....and so many many more. The loneliness grows more and more weary, weary-er, and weary-er....the ambiguity of my direction and love grows tired....There is no one....only me, my laptop, the song, and work....